A conversation

Me: I bought that t-shirt.

Meg: Which one?

Me: The one that says, "If you consider the set of all sets that have never been considered, does it disappear?".

Meg: You're such a dork.

(short pause)

Meg: You should go on "What Not to Wear". They pay $5000.

Me: Why should I go on "What Not to Wear"?

(pointed look)

Meg: I love you.

(end scene)

Marching to the beat of her own drum... and harmonica and guitar and cymbals and...

Recently, I was told that while some kids march to their own drummers, Beth has her own one-man band.


Photo credit: Found this photo here.

I am a GENIUS or a really really bad mom

As I sit here typing this, little Amy is vacuuming the playroom. With her own vacuum. That we gave her for her birthday. Yes, my toddler is doing the housework while I am... well... not.

"How did this strange and wonderful (and possibly just plain WRONG) turn of events come about?" you may (or may not) be asking yourself. Well, Amy has always loved vacuuming. Before she got her own, she would either INSIST on holding the handle while I vacuumed (which slowed the job considerably, since normal speed would have resulted in baby whiplash and/or dislocated shoulder) or using the dustbuster. Since our dustbuster is pretty heavy for her and I really like being able to vacuum at a speed faster than molasses, I decided that I would get her a toy vacuum for her birthday. Then I saw the prices for toy vacuums. They aren't exactly cheap. The cheapest I found was $19.99, but it was not even remotely realistic and didn't even have real vacuuming sounds. Those run more like $35-$50. So then I thought I would check real ones, and I found some pretty inexpensive ones. I ended up getting her a little Eureka upright for $19.99. It even has an extendable handle, so we just don't extend it to make it the perfect size for a toddler. She LOVES it. It doesn't do the greatest job, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

Exploitation or just plain genius? What do you think?

This belongs in Amy's baby book, but I'm too lazy to go get it out

For any of you who hate those parents who seem to brag on their kids, stop reading now. While I am actually not bragging here (just relating facts), it is most definitely going to sound like it. This is, however, my blog, and if I choose to record information here because I am too lazy to go find the baby book to record it there, and it is information that may be of interest in the future that I don't want to forget (because I forget EVERYTHING), and by doing so I sound like Braggy McBraggerson, then so be it. Also, there are probably way too many commas in that last sentence.

Anyway, now that I've gotten all the defensiveness off my chest and hopefully run off anyone who will accuse me of bragging, let me start bragging:

Dudes, my kid potty-trained herself AND SHE CAN READ. Now this would mean nothing (or it could be a little on the sad side) if I were speaking of my 15-year-old or even my 8- or 6-year-old. But guys, this is my just-turned-3-last-week-year-old. Also, the potty-training thing is not bragging at all, since it's not like she's even at an early age for it or anything, the good part about the potty-training is that it took absolutely no effort on my part. Good things that happen are good; good things that happen with no effort on my part are FANTASTIC. About two weeks before her birthday she simultaneously decided that she would now go on the potty (and has not had a single accident since that decision was made) and started sounding out simple words. Now she can read books as long as they consist exclusively of words with no more than four letters or so, though there are a few bigger words she either knows or can sound out. My other three kids were reading around age 3 1/2, but this one is blowing my mind starting it pre-three.

End bragging. Begin contemplating the difficulty in raising this child that I know is coming, since I have been cursed blessed with raising three other gifted kids as well. Amy will make number four, and I am already EXHAUSTED.

Neopolitan hair

My oldest daughter is looking for opinions. She wants to dye her hair "neopolitan." In my house, hair is not a battle I choose in the whole "choose your battles" way of dealing with kids. I choose piercings and tattoos. They get hair and clothes (to a point). Anyway, she has come up with two ways to do this and wants to know what others think, so she asked me to post it here and ask your opinions:



I myself like the second option better. Mainly, I'm just impressed that she can render herself so well in a simple drawing with such little detail. Anyone who knows her and saw that would know exactly who it is.

Thinking outside the box

Part of Beth's homework yesterday was a math sheet. The kids are currently learning about temperatures and measuring them, and the first question on the sheet was this:

1. Look for thermometers around your home.

I found ______ thermometers in my home.

The expected answer would be a number, right? After the kids were in bed last night and I was packing up bags for this morning, I looked over Beth's homework before I stuck it in her folder (yes, I know that checking homework AFTER the kids have gone to bed could cause logistical problems if there is something incorrect or incomplete, but really I only check for completeness, not correctness, since I think you learn something better if you've screwed it up the first time, and I have been known to drag them out of bed at night or extra early in the morning to complete something, so they've learned to do it all in the interest of sleep). Look at the question above again. Now look at her answer:

1. Look for thermometers around your home.

I found MEAT thermometers in my home.

And THAT is why they should have an actual child test these workbooks before they are released to the public. That question should OBVIOUSLY say:

1. Look for AND COUNT the thermometers around your home.

How many thermometers did you find in your home? ________

I did not have Beth change her answer to a number. I did explain that the type of answer expected here was a number, though it wasn't made clear by the question and therefore her answer was not incorrect. I put a sticky note on the sheet for the teacher and I think Beth's answer is WAY better than a number.

Little miss genius

Yesterday, I had four cookies left in a bakery box. My three youngest kids were eating lunch and the 2-year-old, Amy, finished first. So I opened the box and told her to just take one so that Jo and Beth could each have one when they were done. She took out her cookie and said, "There will be one left. Who will eat it?"

December digest

Mid-April. Spring is in the air, the flowers are blooming, the weather is warming. What better time to cover the last full month during which I was incommunicado? The first half of December in the Picklebottom household is pretty mundane, but soon enough it is time to prepare for Beth's birthday. This year (well, okay, LAST year), Beth was turning six, so she was allowed to have a party. (With four kids, we limit parties to ages 1, 6, 10 and MAYBE 16 and 18, but we're not there yet, so who knows. Other years, the birthday child gets to select a friend or two for a fun activity like a zoo trip or a movie and ice cream.) She chose to have her party at one of those paint-your-own-pottery places doing mosaic projects.

This was her cake:





At the party:





Presents later, at home:



Treats that I sent to school for her class:



Pretty soon after Beth's birthday, which falls on the 20th, comes Christmas. I don't feel like typing much, since I'm multi-tasking by watching a movie while I write this (hey, I'm a busy lady), so suffice it to say it was a great Christmas and now let me regale you with pictures.

Jo decorating the tree:



The tree beneath which are the PRESENTS:



Christmas morning waiting for Daddy to wake up:



Beth's new hat (She had tattooed her face with tattoos she received for her birthday. We couldn't get them OFF.):



Mmmmmmm... marshmallow Santa:



Yeah, baby!!! Rock Band 2!!!:



Silly shots of Beth and Amy:

Tuesday tidbits

• First I have to say that I love my title to this post, because I find alliteration absolutely appealing and awesome although asinine^*. Also, I like the word TIDBITS. I'm not sure why, since it sounds like cat food. Anyway, it just popped into my head, which means that I am probably inadvertently stealing it from someone else. So to that person, I apologize. Don't sue me, as you would be sorely disappointed in your winnings in such a lawsuit.
  
  
• My kids painted Easter eggs this past weekend. What, you want pictures? All right *grumble,grumble*, I'll go get the camera and upload them if that'll make you happy. Just wait here a minute... {elevator music version of something by Bon Jovi} OK. Here we go. Sorry that took so long; Meg had (once again) stolen my USB SD card reader thingy and I had to go track it down. OK, TECHNICALLY it's not mine, it's my husband's, but come on people, you KNOW that makes it MINE. Voila (yes I'm too lazy to go copy and paste the accented letter):
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Meg is missing from the photos because she elected to abstain from the activity. She was playing the teenage martyr because she was pissed that I hadn't yet made strawberries magically appear in the fridge. Apparently when she wants strawberries to make a smoothie, she means the very next time you leave the house, who cares if it's just to get the mail from the mailbox, SURELY there's a damn grocery store close enough by to take a little detour. For any of you who have little ones, prepare yourselves for teenage martyrdom, it is a COMMON occurrence.
  
  
• Today is grandparent's day at Beth's kindergarten, which means that my MIL's sister (who pinch hits for my MIL in these situations, since she is 20 minutes away and my MIL is 2 hours away) is coming over. I should be cleaning, but I am typing this instead. It's because of my procrastination illness. I can't help it.
  
  
• Beth has a boyfriend. She kissed him on the bus. Well, on the lips while they were on the bus. I had to tell her that kissing is not appropriate school-type behavior. She is SIX. I'm going next week to pick out my grave plot, since I'm sure I will be needing it in 7-10 years.
  
  
• Back on this post, I said I was going to be giving away a used, dust-jacketless book that I picked up for $1 at a library sale. SURPRISINGLY (ha!), there didn't seem to be much interest in said giveaway item. With only FOUR comments on that post, the odds of winning are TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT!!! Lucky(?) entrants! Random.org awards the book to... Jess! I'm sorry Jess, but you commented and thus will be cursed with THE BOOK THAT NO ONE WANTED. Luckily, I already have your address (assuming I can find it in my email again), so you can't get out of it by not providing your address. *evil cackle*
  
  
• And FINALLY... I recently came across this guy. You should check him out. Interesting guy, interesting family, the most ADORABLE little boy named Diego, for whom Amy would fall head over heels because COME ON... DIEGO? Her favorite babysitters characters in the world are Dora and Diego. She would be smitten. The PROBLEM is this: I left a comment on his blog and he came over here and checked me out. He left a comment on one of my posts that said he could tell I'm a really funny one. GAH! Now I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint him. (Though I guess I can only do that if he comes back.) Those of you who read here know I can only pull the funny out ON OCCASION, and even then it's not always that good. Or funny. Or entertaining AT ALL. WHY do you guys even read this? Are you GLUTTONS FOR PUNISHMENT? Gluttony is a sin, you know, one of the seven deadlies, last I checked (which OK, isn't very often). Wait, I seem to be getting off track here... what was I talking about... oh yes, Jason and his possibly, PROBABLY, unrealistic expectations of me. Jason. Dude. Please don't be disappointed. I want you to like me, I really do. Because from the pictures on your blog, you have a GORGEOUS home, one that would be SO MUCH NICER than a hotel should I ever find myself in California. You know? Just sayin'.
  

*Technically not alliteration, since APPARENTLY alliteration is "the repetition of usually initial CONSONANT sounds in two or more neighboring words or syllables". *I* say it IS alliteration, because I don't believe in discrimination of any sort, even vowel discrimination.

Haircuts

The BEFORE shot of Jo and Beth:



Amy's BEFORE:



AFTER:

Amy had NEVER had a haircut. This was her first. She wouldn't hold still for an after shot, and her hair doesn't look all that different. She had about 3 1/2 inches cut off the length (it was LONG) and had it angled around her face a bit.





Jo wanted bangs again (much to my dismay, since I just keep thinking that will mean another year of hair hell when she decides she wants to let them grow again) and a shoulder-length bob.



And the big, huge, MASSIVE change - Beth wanted a pixie cut.

What's the 'F' word?

That is what Beth walked in the door and asked me after school today. Yeah. So. It caught me a bit off guard. I told her it was a word that wasn't very nice and she shouldn't use it. She still wanted to know what it was. I refused to say it. Her response to my refusal? "It's OK, you can just spell it." HA!

Filler

My house needs some attention, and Amy has decided that every waking moment must be spent velcroed to my side, so here is just a little filler so you know I'm still around.

Kid conversation #1:

Beth (holding her medicine bottle): How do you open this?

Me: You don't. It's kid-proof.

Beth: How does it know I'm a kid?


Kid conversation #2:

Me (walking in a room to find Amy licking the mirrored closet doors): Hey! Don't lick the mirror. We don't lick mirrors.

Amy (as I turn around to leave after she stops licking the mirror): Mommy! Lick the mirror with me!

Me: [facepalm]

Awesome gifts

Before the holidays last year, I saw and read a lot of posts on what would be good gifts for husband, wife, kids, etc. None of them (disclaimer: THAT I REMEMBER), however, had much in the way of "have this and it is AWESOME". They were mostly of the "this would be a great gift" variety. So although the holidays are over, there are birthdays, anniversaries and other gift-giving events coming up throughout the year, so I thought I'd tell you that WE HAVE THESE AND THEY ARE AWESOME.

First of all, books. There are lots of good series out there, and I'm not going to go into those here. I want instead to highlight a couple books my middle two kids received for Christmas this year that are really good. First is How to Be an Explorer of the World: Portable Life Museum by Keri Smith. I highly recommend that you click over and do a "look inside this book" thing. It might just be the coolest book I've ever seen. Jo and Beth each received her own copy. I think this would be a good gift for kids from about age 8 - 12. Maybe a little younger depending on the child; Beth is 6 and she loves it.

The second book may make many of you cringe. I did a little at first, but in the grand scheme of things, this is a good option. Many little girls love the whole princess thing. My 6-year-old certainly does. So when she saw How to Be a Princess by Bee Willey in a store, she immediately was drawn to it and coveted it mightily. It was the only copy and was a little beat-up, but I looked through it and saw that I might have misjudged. Indeed, you cannot judge a book by its cover. So I ordered it for her for Christmas. It is one of her favorite gifts. Here's what I like about it: It stresses politeness, courtesy, kindness and good behavior. It covers choosing a prince in such a way as to emphasize that a princess looks beyond appearances when choosing her prince, and instead focuses on his actions and how he treats others. On every page is a little "extra" such as a little story booklet or fold-out or a paper doll and clothing. So if you have to do something princessy, this is a good option. Age range is whatever the princess obsession covers.

Moving on to games... My oldest actually received this game the Christmas before last, but I have to mention it just because it is such a cool game. Dicecapades.

Never heard of it? Neither had I until I was walking through a local Barnes and Noble and saw it on a table. There was only one and although the box looked a little worn, the game looked neat enough to take the plunge and buy it. There are a bazillion dice (exaggeration) and the game involves trivia, motor dexterity, math, wordplay, etc. It is a really cool game for ages 12 and up. I really enjoy it myself.

Another good game for older kids and adults is Buzzword. It's a lot of fun and basically involves coming up with phrases containing a particular word based on clues. There is a lot of tip-of-the-tongue frustration and "oooohhhhh, I KNEW that"s when the answers are revealed.

Two other games were received by Jo. Flinch and Bananagrams. We haven't played them yet, but they look like fun. I'll let you know what we think after playing.

Lastly, I want to show what Amy, my 2-year-old, is enjoying and playing with the most. She loves puzzles and her two favorite gifts by far were Melissa and Doug's See & Spell Puzzles and Infantino Matching Colors and Textures Puzzles.





Finally, MY favorite gift that Amy received was this hat:



I'm really sorry I can't find it anywhere on the web (during the 5 minute effort I made), because I know you all want this hat for your girls now. I bought it at 50% off (couldn't afford it otherwise, it was $36 flippin' dollars for a BABY HAT, which I couldn't justify, but $18, while still a little high for a BABY HAT was justifiable by the sheer adorableness of the item, but still don't tell my husband I spent $18 on a BABY HAT) back in May from a boutique store that was going out of business. I just couldn't resist. The hat is fringed by little hanging pom-poms and each little pom-pom has a different little design stitched onto it. I do now know why, when choosing my pseudonym here, the name "Picklebottom" popped into my head. I had recently purchased this hat, which is made by Petunia Pickle Bottom. Is that not the cutest hat you've EVER seen?

For Nowheymama

This is in response to a question asked by Nowheymama, but since it might interest someone else AND I can get a post out of it, here it is.

Nowheymama asked: Tell me more about Tae Kwan Do, please. Do the girls like it?

Tae Kwon Do is a Korean martial art (it may be THE Korean martial art, but I don't know). Apparently, it is also written as one word, not three like I have been doing forever. It means "the way of the hand and the fist." Wait, that's redundant... FOOT and fist.

Anyway, we originally started the girls in Taekwondo (hmmm, I like three words better, but from here on out it's TKD) when Jo was 5, because she lacked self-confidence and we thought it might help her in that area. Beth started because Jo did and she was the youngest (having just turned 3) ever admitted to our TKD school at the time. They allowed her in because she demonstrated the ability to pay attention and follow instructions. The age limit at the time was four, so Beth paved the way for the three-year-olds that are now admitted.

The sport did seem to help Jo with her self-confidence, though she is by nature fairly quiet and timid, so it is sometimes difficult to discern what is her non-assertive nature and what is a lack of self-confidence. Jo's ability to focus is a huge asset for her in the sport. About 2 1/2 years into it, Jo went through a period when she wanted to quit. I spoke with her instructor, and he talked to her and got her excited about it again. I don't know what he said, but it worked.

Beth turned out to be quite the athlete in all the sports she's tried, and TKD is no exception. She loves it and has never really had a time when she didn't. Both girls are currently enjoying it and are about 3 months away from earning their black belts.

If you are thinking of starting your kids in TKD, make sure you talk to parents whose kids go to various TKD schools to find out which school is right for your kids. There are national chains and mom-and-pop shops. The school we attend is one of the latter, and I think that, particularly for Jo, was the best choice for us. Our school also emphasizes getting out there and giving it all you've got rather than perfection of execution, though the kids are expected to learn all the moves (and some of the forms are long and complicated). No matter what kind of school you decide to go with, it is quite a commitment. We've been going for three years now, which is how long it takes to get to a black belt. It is also not cheap by any stretch of the imagination. On the plus side, at least at the school we go to, the instructors talk to the kids quite a bit about making good decisions, doing their best in all aspects of their lives (school, home, etc.), and so on, so it's not just the sport that they're learning. Overall, it's been a good experience for my kids, and while I'm not sure if Jo will decide to continue on to higher degree black belts after receiving her first degree black belt, I'm fairly certain that Beth will continue.

Helllllloooooooo - o - o - o - o

So. It's been a while, hasn't it? Is anyone still out there? Since I switched to a new blog back in what... July?... and then about two months later completely fell off the face of the blogosphere, only popping up to toast Jess and Torsten and to leave a total of about 5 comments scattered about, I'd be surprised if anyone is still hanging around. BUT, I take comfort in the fact that I and many others were too lazy to remove Tess's old blog or the mysteriously absent Flibberty from our readers so that when the two of them popped up again a few days ago after approximately the same length of absence, they still had readers.

A lot has happened (mainly with my kids, not me) during the past few months, but I'll get into that in a future post that I promise will happen pre-July. I need to upload some pictures and whatnot to illustrate, and my mother is arriving on Saturday, so it may be mid-January. I'll TRY to post some little things before then, but the big what's-been-happenings will show up then. In the meantime, if you're going to the Outback Bowl tomorrow, my oldest daughter (let's see what do I call her here... oh yes, Meg) will be playing alto saxophone on the field at halftime. OK, there will also be other kids from her marching band and some other high school marching bands, but I'm sure if you look closely, you'll see her.

Also, can you guess what one of the kids' gifts was this year?

Potty training

Conventional wisdom: Begin potty training when your child shows signs of being ready, such as asking to go to the potty.

Amy wisdom: If I say, "Tinkle? Potty?" Mommy will let me go upstairs, where I can refuse to have anything whatsoever to do with the potty. But I am upstairs. Which is exactly where I wanted to be. Score: Me - 1, Potty training - 0.

A glimpse of control amid the chaos

Jo, Beth and I made these AMAZING cookies yesterday:



Though it appears that they are cooling right on my counter, which would be okay, since it was CLEAN, they are actually cooling on wax paper. But I am not here to convince you of the sanitation level of my counter-tops. No, I am here as a public service to YOU and anyone for whom you will ever again bake a cookie. So as I was saying, we made cookies. Basically, we did the same as we did here, but instead of using chocolate chips, we used dark chocolate M&Ms and Heath toffee bits. Also, I think I have found the perfect amount of pudding mix to add - to a double recipe add one of the big boxes of pudding mix. It's a 6-serving box rather than a 4-serving. I have to say that I think these are the best cookies I've EVER HAD. Ever. Ever. In my life. And I've been around a while. And in that while I've eaten more cookies than most people eat in a lifetime. Really. So I know what I'm talking about.

Moving on...

A few days ago, Amy was setting up bowling pins all in a row. If one would get knocked down, she would say, "Uh oh, pin," and pick it back up and put it in it's rightful place. I thought this was pretty funny:



BUT THEN...

At my house, the playroom gets completely and utterly DESTROYED on a daily basis. Furniture covers pulled off the furniture and thrown on the floor or heaped back up on said furniture, crumbs all over the carpet, toys scattered everywhere, puzzles dissembled and scattered, etc. By the time Amy goes in for her nap, it is total chaos and you can't even walk through the room. So every most afternoons at nap time, I try to get in there and straighten up a bit before it gets ripped apart again later. Lately, I've been finding some odd order amid the chaos:











Hmmm... Thoughts?

Next, a random picture. Just a head's up for Kellogg's: Calibrate your Eggo machine, dude.




[30 Day Shred update: Day 5: Although I have not lost an ounce (I attribute this to the lack of change in my diet; I will try to do better, though making cookies was OBVIOUSLY not a good idea.), my ass is no longer being served up on a silver platter. Rather, *I* am starting to kick some ass. I think that I will continue on Level 1 for the weekend and move on to Level 2 on Monday.]

OUR children's utensils have more fun than YOUR children's utensils

What? Don't YOU keep a slide in your kitchen? No? Then how do you expect your forks to frolic?

Playing with perspective

[I am reposting this from my old blog. It was originally posted in May. While I retained the original posting date for most of my transferred posts, I decided to let this one be current. I really like it and wanted to share with the many new readers I have since my move. Oh, and no photoshopping was involved, other than cropping.]







What did YOU do this weekend?