Hello, hello? Is this thing on...

Wow. It has been almost two years since I've posted here. I'm alive (though barely). "Why are you back now?" you ask. Or I ask, in an attempt to fool myself into thinking I am actually talking to someone, that all of my readers haven't cleared out their subscription list. Well, in true Picklebottom form, I am procrastinating and it's the other person's move in all my "Words With Friends" games. "What are you procrastinating?" you wonder. Well, I have spent the last year trying to get to the point that I have almost gotten to, so now that there are two weeks left, it is time to start putting things off until the last minute. "Hmmm. What have you been up to over the last year?" you ask. All the questions! Aren't you nosy? Well, since you're obviously not going to drop it, I'll tell you.

Mr. Picklebottom lost his job almost two years ago. He still has not found anything, which SUCKS, but that is just a tangent to my story, though it was the stimulus. A few months after he lost his job, I began working as a special ed aide sub at an elementary school which then led to a full-time special ed aide job. I loved it and wish I could still be doing it. Sadly, the job did not come with benefits, so I had to keep looking. Everything I found that would make use of my master's degree in math also wanted the candidate to be a teacher. The fact that I had taught on the college level did not count; they wanted certification. So I called a local college and discovered that I would only need to take four courses and then student teach for a semester to get my certification for 7th-12th grade. So I signed up. I finished out the school year as a special ed aide and went to school at night. Just as my student teaching stint was to begin this fall, I was contacted by the local community college to teach a course or two. Because we needed the money, I took a course, though the advisor for student teaching practically flogged me for it, saying trying to have a job while student teaching was a HUGE mistake. My stress level over the last few months has proven him right, but don't tell HIM that, because it appears that I MAY actually finish this whole thing successfully.

So now I'm down to my last two weeks of student teaching. I have two unit plans to put together, but that's not a big deal since it pretty much just involves printing all the lesson plans, activity descriptions, worksheets, tests, quizzes, and project descriptions out, taking a picture of bulletin boards that I (still need to) put together, and then organizing them chronologically. Then I just have to make sure all my lesson plans, reflections, and whatnot are organized as well. Doesn't sound too bad, but I have some catch-up to play, and I need to be ready for all my crap to be looked at by my supervisor on Tuesday.

It will happen, and then if I'm lucky, all the hair that fell out from the stress will grow back and the weight I lost will stay gone. Since I'm rarely lucky, though, I'm guessing the hair will remain thinner than ever and the weight will come back within a week... in fact, I think this weekend I recovered some of the weight that had been lost.

So I'm almost done. Then maybe I'll be able to check in here on a more regular basis. Maybe I'll even be able to get back to my Buncha Books review posts... they were the only way I was able to keep track of what I read, and the piles of books around here from lack of time to read are getting ridiculous. Possibly even dangerous, as whenever one of my children isn't accounted for, I have to consider whether a pile of books toppled over and buried her.

I'm not going to make any promises, but I will make an effort. To give me a little push, I will say that my intention will be a Buncha Books post within a few days of my completion of student teaching. Until then, if your holiday decorating involves the use of a ladder, don't fall off.

A conversation

Me: I bought that t-shirt.

Meg: Which one?

Me: The one that says, "If you consider the set of all sets that have never been considered, does it disappear?".

Meg: You're such a dork.

(short pause)

Meg: You should go on "What Not to Wear". They pay $5000.

Me: Why should I go on "What Not to Wear"?

(pointed look)

Meg: I love you.

(end scene)

Well, hello.

Been a long LOOOONNNG time. I don't really have anything to say, but I thought I'd report that every cloud does indeed have a silver lining. The silver lining to the water-pouring-through-our-roof-into-our-attic-yesterday cloud is... HOT ROOFER GUY.

Marching to the beat of her own drum... and harmonica and guitar and cymbals and...

Recently, I was told that while some kids march to their own drummers, Beth has her own one-man band.


Photo credit: Found this photo here.

Thank you!

After leaving my last post up for a week, I am taking it down, as I do not want it floating out there for any longer. I appreciate all of your comments and emails. Some of you gave me some interesting things to look into and I was touched by the thoughts and well-wishes. Despite my lack of posting, I do still have some readers, and they are AWESOME ones. Thank you!

Turn it off! Turn it off!

There seem to be a lot of posts out there (I'd link, but don't feel like making the effort today) mentioning celebrities that you (a general you, not necessarily YOU specifically, unless you've written one or more of these posts) like, love, admire and/or would sleep with given the opportunity despite any existing relationship. I even wrote a post like that the last time I posted. So today I am doing something a little different. Today I will list those celebrities who simply, by the virtue of their existence, annoy the hell out of me. To the point that I would rather stick hot needles in my eyes than spend one second seeing these folks on TV or hearing them on the radio. The ones that make me close my eyes, cover my ears and yell, "Turn it off! Turn it off!" So, in no particular order, the celebrities (that I can think of at this moment) that annoy me:

Tyra Banks - HATE her for no particular reason. I don't know her. I just can't stand to look at her or hear her talk.

Celine Dion - I have seen or heard her where I didn't run screaming from the room, but only once, and I think I may have had too much to drink and been incapable of running or screaming coherently.

Mariah Carey - NEVER seen or heard her when I didn't run screaming from the room (in my head, I wouldn't want to make a spectacle of myself), though I am CONSIDERING making an exception to see that movie Precious.

Dr. Phil - Self-righteous pompous jackass who makes an awesome living spouting advice that amounts to nothing more than common sense.

Kate Gosselin - The hair. I just can't get past the hair. Also, she makes up more words that don't actually exist than our old pal George W.

There are more, but I can't think of them right now because Amy is now screaming that I MUST attend to the fact that SHE IS FINISHED WITH HER POPCORN. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about that, but I should go find out. In the meantime, what celebrities make you want to vomit and/or scratch your eyes out?

My imaginary boyfriend

One of these days I'll get around to posting Halloween pics of my kids, but that takes some effort... you know, moving the little card from the camera to the computer and uploading the pictures. Instead, inspired by a thought I have every single time I watch Destination Truth (and I not only watch it, I DVR it to watch at my convenience because I don't want to miss any), I decided to pause the show (and it's a really good Yeti one) to see just how old Josh Gates is so that I could determine if it would be in the realm of possibility for me to marry him should something happen to my husband... Dum Dum Duuuuhhhhh.

He is 32. A LITTLE young for me, but maybe not. I'm 38, so it's within the realm of possibility, right? Anyway, he cracks me up. And he ain't too bad to look at, either. It really surprises me that with all the "these are my crushes" posts out there, I've never seen Josh on anyone's list. Well, he's at the top of mine (along with Johnny Depp, especially as Jack Sparrow - don't judge, I'd make him brush his teeth first).



I even like him in his librarian glasses. If I can't marry him, I'd settle for joining his expeditions. Really, don't you think that what they're missing is a middle-aged mother of four? I do have my SCUBA certification, though, and more importantly, I'd be willing to do the things they do. Well, except for the whole Chernobyl thing... I would've called in sick for that one.



Hubba hubba, baby.


Photo credits: Found these on the Internet. I'm probably violating someone's copyright. If it's yours, tell me and I'll credit you.