Friday, November 20, 2009

Turn it off! Turn it off!

There seem to be a lot of posts out there (I'd link, but don't feel like making the effort today) mentioning celebrities that you (a general you, not necessarily YOU specifically, unless you've written one or more of these posts) like, love, admire and/or would sleep with given the opportunity despite any existing relationship. I even wrote a post like that the last time I posted. So today I am doing something a little different. Today I will list those celebrities who simply, by the virtue of their existence, annoy the hell out of me. To the point that I would rather stick hot needles in my eyes than spend one second seeing these folks on TV or hearing them on the radio. The ones that make me close my eyes, cover my ears and yell, "Turn it off! Turn it off!" So, in no particular order, the celebrities (that I can think of at this moment) that annoy me:

Tyra Banks - HATE her for no particular reason. I don't know her. I just can't stand to look at her or hear her talk.

Celine Dion - I have seen or heard her where I didn't run screaming from the room, but only once, and I think I may have had too much to drink and been incapable of running or screaming coherently.

Mariah Carey - NEVER seen or heard her when I didn't run screaming from the room (in my head, I wouldn't want to make a spectacle of myself), though I am CONSIDERING making an exception to see that movie Precious.

Dr. Phil - Self-righteous pompous jackass who makes an awesome living spouting advice that amounts to nothing more than common sense.

Kate Gosselin - The hair. I just can't get past the hair. Also, she makes up more words that don't actually exist than our old pal George W.

There are more, but I can't think of them right now because Amy is now screaming that I MUST attend to the fact that SHE IS FINISHED WITH HER POPCORN. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about that, but I should go find out. In the meantime, what celebrities make you want to vomit and/or scratch your eyes out?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

My imaginary boyfriend

One of these days I'll get around to posting Halloween pics of my kids, but that takes some effort... you know, moving the little card from the camera to the computer and uploading the pictures. Instead, inspired by a thought I have every single time I watch Destination Truth (and I not only watch it, I DVR it to watch at my convenience because I don't want to miss any), I decided to pause the show (and it's a really good Yeti one) to see just how old Josh Gates is so that I could determine if it would be in the realm of possibility for me to marry him should something happen to my husband... Dum Dum Duuuuhhhhh.

He is 32. A LITTLE young for me, but maybe not. I'm 38, so it's within the realm of possibility, right? Anyway, he cracks me up. And he ain't too bad to look at, either. It really surprises me that with all the "these are my crushes" posts out there, I've never seen Josh on anyone's list. Well, he's at the top of mine (along with Johnny Depp, especially as Jack Sparrow - don't judge, I'd make him brush his teeth first).

I even like him in his librarian glasses. If I can't marry him, I'd settle for joining his expeditions. Really, don't you think that what they're missing is a middle-aged mother of four? I do have my SCUBA certification, though, and more importantly, I'd be willing to do the things they do. Well, except for the whole Chernobyl thing... I would've called in sick for that one.

Hubba hubba, baby.

Photo credits: Found these on the Internet. I'm probably violating someone's copyright. If it's yours, tell me and I'll credit you.