Friday, January 23, 2009

No news is good news

My mother called this morning. My grandmother is in intensive care. She may not come out. Because she got a cough and due to lung problems in the past couldn't cough hard enough to keep her lungs functioning well-enough. My mom is looking through my grandmother's paperwork for a living will (though my mom has power of attorney, so I think any decisions are hers) and wondering how to handle a funeral/memorial service for a woman who was not religious at all and who only knew a handful of people. My mom abhors the idea of some minister who never met my grandmother a day in her life saying things about her life. We're thinking a small gathering at my grandmother's house with no service at all. My grandmother signed up years ago with some kind of cremation society, so that part is already taken care of. And there's always the possibility that she'll be okay, she's been okay before, but my mom is worried because I guess the doctors aren't sugar-coating anything.

I had just gone down with my kids in November because she was having mini-strokes that were causing memory loss, and I wanted her to see the kids at least once more while she could still remember who they were. There was also the possibility that it would be the last time we saw her, but I didn't think that could actually be the case. I just thought it would probably be the last time we saw her with her mental faculties mostly intact. Now I am doubly glad we went when we did.

My mom didn't hear from the hospital overnight, which was good news. She's going to spend the day at the hospital and she'll call me if anything happens. I'm hoping not to hear from her today, since at this point and until the bug that caused her cough is eradicated, opening up the possibility for improvement, no news is good news.

13 comments:

Astarte said...

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope whatever happens is quick.

When my grandmother died, we just had a small graveside service. It was weird to have a reverend there, since I honestly never saw the woman darken a church door, but whatever. I think a small gathering at the house, with photos of her on a table with some flowers, would be totally appropriate, should she be unable to recover.

Jess said...

It's so hard when you see someone and you tell yourself that it might be the last time you see them, but really you don't believe it, and then it turns out that it was. I'm sorry this is happening. I think your idea for a small gathering minus a service is lovely.

Tess said...

I'm so sorry about this.

Pickles and Dimes said...

I'm so sorry. It's nice you and girls got to see her while she was still remembering everything.

Jason & I saw my grandmother two days before she died. She was alert and talking. The next day, my parents came to visit her and she was already out of it and not recognizing anyone. My mom still wishes they would've come to visit a day sooner.

I hope your grandma pulls through this.

the cubicle's backporch said...

I'm so sorry to hear this.

It's weird to think that the last time you saw someone may be the last time you see them alive.

Shelly said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. You and your family will be in my thoughts. I hope she recovers and all this worry is for nothing.

LoriD said...

I'm so sorry. When my grandmother was sick, I felt like Ihad been punched in the stomach every time the phone rang. I hope yours doesn't ring.

citizen of the world said...

I'm sorry. It's hard to deal with the prospect of losing a grandparent.

Flibberty said...

It's never easy. I'm so sorry. I will be thinking about you and hoping for the no news.

Chantal said...

Hugs.

ccr in MA said...

I'm so sorry. You'll be in my thoughts. I hope it works out the best it can for all concerned.

Mimi said...

I'm so sorry. I'll be hoping you get some good news soon.

Erica said...

It's so sad to watch someone you love struggle and fight to keep going. I hope your grandmother is out of pain soon and that you and your family are filled with peace.